‘They made us feel safe’... Meath man's story of how fostering changed his life for the better

A 21-year-old man who grew up in a foster home in Meath has spoken out about how fostering changed his life for the better.

The young man had a normal, happy, secure life in his teenage years as he grew up up with a loving supportive family in a south county Meath village.

Now a social care student in TU Dublin, John (not his real name) still lives with his foster parents and plays a role with Fostering First Ireland, a fostering agency that works in partnership with Tusla.

To mark Fostering Fortnight, John has spoken about the love and security he and his brothers received from his foster family and the support he still enjoys as a young adult.

Fostering Fortnight takes place from 6th to 17th of March. It is a national campaign that runs all over Ireland to raise awareness for fostering and to promote the need for more foster carers. Fostering Fortnight is about celebrating foster care and the benefits that growing up in a family environment can have on children in care.

The young man does not want to be identified in order to protect the identifies of of his family members.

John and his two brothers were taken into care when he was 12 years old. "We were taken into emergency care and then we went to this couple.

"I was going into fifth class a the time. I didn't know what fostering was and was very disoriented.

"I was lucky in that I was fostered with my two brothers and I wasn't on my own."

John says that fostering is a big challenge and fostering three was an even bigger challenge, but his foster parents handled it very well.

"They must have had a lot of support because they knew how to deal with us. They didn't encroach on our space or question us questions about our lives before that we didn't want to answer."

"They made us feel secure and safe by always telling us the plan for the week ahead. That was important, because having been in emergency care, we didn't know whether we would be staying or going, but they made us feel safe."

Enrolling in a new school was one of the first challengers for the 12 year old and his brothers.

"We were meeting new people in a new school. We live in a village, so everyone already knew everyone and we had to answer a lot of questions.

"This is where our foster parents were a great help and we talked to them about it. When people asked questions our foster mother would say 'oh they've just come to stay with us for a while,' and that is what we said to everyone too."

His foster carers both came from big families, although they had no children themselves.

"When we went into foster care, they kept it small, we met just a few people we would be seeing every week for the first few weeks. Then we gradually got to know them all and we feel very much part of the entire extended family."

"I already have a Mum and Dad, but my foster carers are my supportive adults - the people I want to spend Christmas with."

While John stall has contact with his birth parents, he hasn't seen them for in a long time. "When we first met our foster parents extended family, it struck me that despite being from such large families, they are all very close. I enjoyed being part of that.

One of the hardest things he found when he first went to his foster carers was the lack of freedom.

"I had a lot of freedom before I was taken into care, I could come and go when I wanted. In foster care, I was more closely watched and there was more strictness, but it made me feel secure.

He still lives with his foster carers, is student of social studies and he is also participating ambassador for Fostering First Ireland and works with Foster Carers and children.

Dean Shannon of Fostering First says the Meath student has been a great ambassador, giving tips to foster carers - things like what not to ask children coming into care and he has been great talking to children coming onto care.

Dean Shannon of Fostering First says John has been a great ambassador, giving tips to foster carers - things like what not to ask children coming into care. He has has also been great talking to children who have just come onto care.

“When children first go into care, they can be uncertain about what is happening and it is good to have someone to talk to,” says John.

“Fostering First Ireland organises get-togethers for children in care who can talk to each other. They also offer a lot of support to foster carers”

John says he had a very safe, secure time with his foster parents and he still lives with them.

“They have been supportive through everything - pursuing my goals in sport, applying for college, going to college, they looked after me when I was sick, helped with homework and came to school plays and they are still supporting me.

“I will always be grateful to them. They changed my life for the better!”

If you are interested in fostering, you can contact Fostering First at contactus@ffi.ie