Bed-bound 93 year-old left without vital carer cover as 'exhausted' family speak out

An "exhausted" North Meath couple with "nothing left" are devastated after being left without a HSE carer to help look after their 93-year-old bed-bound father suffering with dementia.

The elderly man's regular carer took annual leave on Friday (20th February) with the couple informed by the HSE that a replacement carer was not available to take up the hours.

The carer has been providing 17 and 20 hours vital care on alternate weeks to the 93-year-old who lives in the family home with his wife, aged in her late 80s who also has significant health issues.

Now the devastated couple have spoken out about their situation to the Meath Chronicle under condition of anonymity.

Occupational therapists and public health nurses have told James and Catherine (not their real names) that two carers are needed to work together for the level of support their frail father needs.

"We have one, but even at that the full schedule of care is not being fulfilled by the HSE or the contracted carers," said frustrated daughter-in-law, Catherine.

James says two people are needed to help turn his father in the bed to change pads and nappies and get him cleaned and resettled. "You need a person on each side, it's practically impossible with one person. We're constantly checking on him to make sure he's not getting sores and he also has a catheter fitted so we're always watching for infection too. It's very, very hands on and it's a lot."

Meanwhile, Catherine and James who live a short distance away and have a young family of their own are also caring for their elderly mother aged in her late 80s in the family homestead.

"Mam is in the bed a good bit too, she would suffer from kidney infections and vertigo also," says James.

"She needs to wear a nappy and has to be brought out to the toilet and she also has to be helped wash herself, so she needs a high level of personal care," adds Catherine.

"So with this carer resource gone what that means is that James and I will have to manage all those hours on our own."

James and Catherine emailed the HSE in Trim on 20th February requesting an update on a replacement carer which went unanswered. They are now facing into the next few weeks managing alone until the carer returns in late March.

The couple say they are "exhausted" and have "nothing left".

"The carer applied for her annual leave, for which she is fully entitled, in the first week of January. It was granted.

"The HSE has said it has no replacement for her. She does 20 hours and 17 hours each alternating week. The HSE basically said they can get the hours covered if someone else loses theirs.

"I am not wishing death or a huge life change on anyone so we can get more care, but you do have to ask yourself, how sick do you need to be? We are already in a situation where we should have two carers for the level of support we need," said Catherine.

James says the fault lies with the system and not with the carers whom he describes as wonderful people.

"Everyone needs their annual leave, and our carers are wonderful, but am I to believe that somewhere in an office a secretary, an administrator, a supervisor or a co-ordinator thinks that not supporting a family is okay?"

Catherine says she has had to take stress leave from her job due to the impact of juggling carer supervision, fighting for additional hours, and rearing her own young family.

"These people worked hard their whole lives. Apart from supporting the carers we have, we are already providing 24-hour supervision for them. There is no rest. There is no let up.

"We are doing our best to keep them comfortable, and we know their days left are short. We have to manage the house, the meds, the visitors, the patients, the schedules, the PHN (public health nurse), OTs (occupational therapists) and doctor visits. We are physically exhausted. We have nothing left."

"Why is it that begging is the only way to get what we need for our loved ones? How does that seem fair? How can these decision makers sleep knowing that we are not sleeping - we are trying to get our own children organised so we can stay in the house and create a peaceful environment for them in their last few days or weeks. We are all out of favours, no one wants to see our children for play dates that nowadays are not reciprocated. We are leaning too much on our support system and it is at the verge of collapse."

The couple say they are only looking for their current allocated hours and carer to be covered let alone the hours recommended and have now written to Meath ministers Helen McEntee, Thomas Byrne, and the HSE itself.

Meath Chronicle has also contacted the HSE and both ministers for comment.

A spokesperson for Minister McEntee's office said they had reached out to the family and HSE on the matter while Minister Byrne has also made contact with the family.