‘My life has been transformed from night to day’

Monica Nelson, Head of Operations at the Joshua Community, bravely shared her own story with the crowd that gathered under the gazebo on Friday evening, demonstrating the hard work and resilience it took to get her to where she is today.

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Despite being Head of Operations at Joshua now, this wasn’t the life I always had. When I was very young, probably around the age of 12, I took my first Class A drug. At the time, I didn’t even know what it was. From then on, I was a social drug user, but unfortunately it meant that my social use became longer. Saturday and Sunday began dragging into Monday and Tuesday.

By the time I was 21, I was a full blown addict. I then went through 15 years of addiction. I would go through periods of stability before relapse because I had great support. I think that's why this event is so important today because I did have great support through the agencies that I worked with.

At 21 years old, in Cavan town, at absolute rock bottom, I was in severe withdrawals. I was walking along not knowing what I was going to do and I saw a sign for Cavan addiction services. I never even knew there was an addiction service in Cavan Hospital. They put me in touch with a drugs counsellor, so that’s why for me these agencies are so important. My life felt like my train going down a track and I always thought I knew better and could go a different way, which is why I kept relapsing, despite the support.

I buried myself when I came off track, in not only addiction but depression and isolation, too. I didn’t want anyone to know. My skin got very bad from my addiction, making me isolate myself more. I kept hiding in a dark pit, and I didn’t know how to get out.

One day in 2017, founders of the Joshua Community Liam and Mary McNamara walked into the clinic I was in, and they wanted to start the New Beginnings Programme, one of the programmes we run in Joshua. I went into the programme with a terrible attitude, I gave them a true test.

Through that programme, I learned self worth. From a young age, I was in abusive relationships and had no self worth. I learned through this programme that I wasn’t just the addict or the mess I thought I was. So many people told Liam and Mary they were crazy to take me on and to give me a job, but they believed in me. They always said, we care about the life, not the programme.

I couldn’t tell you how dark my life was, and Liam and Mary are still by my side. Within two years of meeting them, I was off everything and employed with no education to back it up. My life has been transformed from night to day. This has been through encouragement and showing me there is a purpose for my life. I was able to think, I deserve to have a happy and healthy life, my own house and car. Talking about my past is like talking about someone else.

So many of us going through addiction feel like outcasts, but for someone to come along, to give you a hug, give you keys for a place and to give you responsibility, and just to see you as an actual person with worth and a purpose is amazing. I can say I know where my future lies and I have hope and a purpose.