‘We’re not asking for luxury things, we’re trying to save my husband’

A family who lived in Athboy for several years are facing what they describe as the “fight of their lives” after father-of-four Jarred Elford was diagnosed with terminal cancer.

Jarred (41), and his wife Belinda, originally from Cape Town in South Africa and now living in Longford, are appealing for public support as they attempt to raise funds for urgent treatment abroad after what they say were years of debilitating pain treated largely with pain medication and without further investigation.

“For the past eight years Jarred was living in constant pain,” Belinda explains. “The pain was mainly in his lower back and hips and every time we went to the GP, they just changed or increased his medication.”

She said Jarred had been prescribed a combination of strong painkillers over a prolonged period, but no blood tests or scans were carried out for years.

“Jarred suffered a serious fall a few years ago and explained this to the GP who just took for granted that the pain was in relation to that and never referred him for any tests."

Everything changed late last year when a new locum doctor took over the practice following the retirement of their previous GP.

“The new doctor refused to continue renewing the prescriptions without seeing Jarred first,” Belinda explained. “He started asking questions about his history, what tests had been done, and when he realised there had never been proper investigations, he immediately referred Jarred for an MRI.”

The MRI, carried out earlier this year, revealed extensive cancer in Jarred’s bones.

Further tests at Mullingar Regional Hospital later confirmed a diagnosis of stage four renal cell carcinoma, an aggressive form of kidney cancer which had already spread to his lymph nodes and bones.

“We were absolutely floored,” said Belinda. “At first they thought it might be non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma, and we were trying to stay optimistic because that can often be treated successfully. Then they told us it was terminal kidney cancer. We just couldn’t believe it.”

The father-of-four has been unable to work since December due to worsening pain and declining mobility. Belinda said the family exhausted their savings while trying to care for him and support their children, aged between eight and 19.

“He was let go from work because physically he just couldn’t do the job anymore,” she said. “I tried doing an online course from home so I could still care for him, but eventually even that became impossible because his condition deteriorated so much.”

Belinda says the family became increasingly frustrated with delays surrounding oncology appointments and further testing.

“When you get a terminal diagnosis, six weeks feels like an eternity,” she said. “Every day he was getting weaker. He was losing weight rapidly, not sleeping, not eating properly, and we still felt like we were waiting and waiting.”

The family has now been exploring treatment options abroad through the EU Cross-Border Healthcare Scheme, which allows patients seek treatment in another EU country, though the upfront costs must be paid before reimbursement is considered.

Belinda says the initial costs for treatment in Spain are estimated at around €35,000.

“They told us treatment would begin immediately once they received his records,” she said. “They’re talking about radiotherapy and specialised treatments we simply can’t access quickly enough here.”

Although deeply reluctant to ask for public help, Belinda said she eventually felt she had no other option.

“It’s embarrassing having to ask people for money, but what choice do you have when it’s somebody’s life?” she said. “We’re not asking for luxury things. We’re trying to save my husband.”

Amid the family’s ongoing ordeal, Belinda has also suffered another devastating personal loss after her mother died unexpectedly in recent days in South Africa.

“It’s been horrific,” she said quietly. “My mum spoke to me every day. She kept saying we’d get through this and she’d help us through whatever came. Now she’s gone too.”

The couple moved to Ireland around a decade ago and lived in Athboy for more than two years before relocating to Longford less than a year ago after their landlord sold the property.

Despite their frustrations, Belinda praised staff at Mullingar Hospital for the care they have shown Jarred since his diagnosis.

“They’ve been absolutely brilliant with him,” she said. “I can’t fault them at all. They’ve shown him kindness every step of the way.”

The family’s GoFundMe appeal has already attracted support online, with donations helping towards the mounting costs of medical care and travel abroad.

“Every donation gives us hope,” Belinda said. “At this point we just want to give Jarred every possible chance.”

To support Jarred's medical journey search please click here.