‘Darragh was a young, fit healthy lad with his whole life ahead of him, none of it made sense’

The heartbroken family of a young Dunboyne man who lost his battle to colon cancer last year just six weeks after marrying the love of his life have urged people to be aware of changes in their body and waste no time seeking medical help.

Darragh Ruane was just 28 when he passed away from the disease in July of last year after bravely fighting the illness for almost 12 months.

As Elaine Barker and her family continues to grieve the loss of their son and brother, they are determined to share his story in the hopes of preventing a similar outcome for others and is urging people, especially young adults, to be aware of colon cancer symptoms and to highlight that early detection is crucial as colon cancer is not just an older person's disease.

Darragh first went to hospital in July 2023 with severe pain after being out for a run. After an initial stay and a course of antibiotics, he was sent home, only for his symptoms to return weeks later. A follow-up appointment led to an urgent colonoscopy, and shortly afterwards, the life-changing diagnosis, colon cancer.

“He just texted me from the hospital bed, mam the worst news ever, I have bowel cancer,” remembers Elaine.

“We were just devastated,” she added.

“Darragh was a young, fit healthy lad with his whole life ahead of him, none of it made any sense.”

By October, Darragh had to undergo surgery for a colostomy bag and began a gruelling course of chemotherapy, six sessions in total followed by 25 rounds of radiotherapy, all while managing complications and long days in hospital.

Despite signs of improvement early last year, scans in April 2024 revealed that the cancer had spread to his bladder and prostate. Doctors advised major surgery to remove both organs, meaning Darragh would be living permanently with both a colostomy bag and a urostomy bag. But even more devastating news came just two weeks later, the cancer had also spread to his liver.

“He had a 20 centimetre by 20 centimetre mass,” explains Elaine.

“It had burst through the wall of the bowel and it had attached to his prostate and his bladder,” she added. Some time after that we were asked to attend Beaumont Hospital for an appointment with his consultant, we thought we were going to be given a date for his surgery but sadly he never made it that far.”

The CT scan had confirmed that Darragh had now got tumours on his liver and surgery was no longer an option.

“I didn't want to believe it, I said no this is wrong, you are meant to be giving us a date for his operation and the consultant said there isn't going to be an operation and she just put her arms around me and said ‘Elaine, I’m so sorry’.

“I just said, how long and she said six months to a year.”

There was some light in the dark days of Darragh's illness especially when he tied the knot with the love of his life, Ginte just six weeks before he passed away.

The moving ceremony took place in the social room of the hospice, adorned with flowers and photographs from their life together. Surrounded by close family and friends, the pair exchanged vows in what Elaine describes as “an emotional and beautiful celebration.”

“Darragh was determined to marry Ginte,” said the grieving mum. “Even though he was very weak, he was so happy on that day,” she added. “We all felt the power of their bond.”

Despite his declining health, Darragh looked dapper in a smart three piece suit, while Ginte wore a simple white dress and carried a small bouquet. Family, friends and staff at the hospice helped organise the event, arranging decorations, music, and even a beautiful cake.

There was laughter and tears as the couple were pronounced husband and wife according to Elaine who said:

“He said it was the happiest day of his life. Even with everything he was facing, he was full of love.”

His family says the wedding brought immense comfort to him in his final days, a celebration of a love that refused to be diminished by time or illness.

“It was the nicest wedding you could imagine,” said Elaine. “Darragh's friend, Keith, totally transformed the social room in the hospice in and it just looked like you were on a film set,” she added. Darragh's friend did the catering and all of this he did nothing in return.

“Dermot Kennedy and Kodaline even sent videos congratulating Darragh and Ginte!

“Then after the wedding, Darragh went for a rest, and everybody else went back to Dunboyne Castle.

“I used to work there, and I have to say, Liz Diaz the manager was fantastic and said under no circumstances, are you paying for a room for Darragh, that he could stay there if he wanted free of charge. So Darragh had set his mind that he was getting his medication having a little rest and coming back to Dunboyne Castle. So his dad, Kevin, went and collected him and when Darragh arrived, all his friends were on the steps singing, “Can't Take my Eyes off You.”

“At two o'clock in the morning, Darragh said I don't want to go to bed, this is the best day of my life!”

Elaine has praised the community for rallying around her family both before and after Darragh passed away.

“We have been overwhelmed with the support and kindness shown by everyone. Darragh loved his hair cuts and Ali's Turkish Barbers in Dunboyne came to the hospice to cut his hair and Darragh's favourite pizza place in all of Ireland, Papa Luigi's in Dunboyne told us to come to them any time that he wanted a pizza and that it would be on the house. “

Darragh died peacefully in the hospice six weeks later in his mother's arms with his new wife and family by his side.

“I was the first to hold him in my arms as a baby and I was the last to hold him in this life time,” said Elaine. “ I just said to his dad tell him it's okay to go,” she added. And he just looked up in my eyes, and took three last breaths. That was it.”

Darragh was “an amazing son, brother, husband and friend” who lives on in the hearts of those who loved him says his heartbroken mother.

“He was a treasure,” added Elaine.

“His laugh was infectious, it would just make you laugh. He had the best of friends, some of them came home from Australia a couple of times in a short space of time to see him when he was sick. His nickname was Freckles because he would get freckles in the summer time.

“He loved football and Ginte's dog, Gucci. He idolized this dog. The night he was dying, the dog sat with his head down and his paws down in between Darragh's legs. The hospice allowed us to bring the dog in if it was going to bring him some comfort.”

Elaine admits she still texts her late son everyday.

“Just normal things really,” says the mum of four.” My husband's youngest daughter who loved Darragh got engaged recently and I sent a picture of her with the ring and I texted him the other day saying all of his friends would be at his memorial next week,” she added. I hope he can see them.”

The Darragh Ruane Memorial Cup takes place on Saturday at Dunboyne AFC 19th July to honour Darragh's memory and raise funds for St Francis Hospice Blanchardstown .