‘You need places like this, you’d nearly think they would be a sad place but they are so uplifting’ - The Book of Memories Cafe

Since opening its doors a year ago, the Book of Memories Cafe, which operates once a month in Eureka House in Kells, has been providing a lifeline not just to people living with dementia but also their families and carers. NOELLE FINEGAN went along for a coffee and a chat

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For someone trying to come to terms with a dementia diagnosis and their families, it can be a very daunting and lonely experience, not knowing where to turn for advice and support.

At the same time, for those with a loved one at a more advanced stage of dementia or memory loss, outings can be difficult and opportunities to socialise can be few and far between.

That is where the 'Book of Memories' Cafe steps in. Since opening its doors a year ago, the Book of Memories Cafe, which operates once a month in Eureka House in Kells, has been providing a lifeline not just to people living with dementia but also their families and carers.

As well as being a social outlet, it is also an invaluable resource to help access information and supports outside a clinic setting. It's a safe space, it is somewhere to meet people who understand, to share a cuppa and a chat.

It is about breaking barriers, bringing the community together and challenging the stigma that still often comes with memory loss and dementia.

Anne Caprani, advanced nurse practitioner in dementia with the HSE and a committee member, believes the success of the Book of Memories Cafe is down to it being a collaboration between healthcare professionals, community volunteers and also those who have become experts through lived experience.

Every month they transform a rented room in Eureka House into something very special for those two hours. Apart from the healthcare professionals being on site, there is a real sense of community. People bake, volunteer their time to serve cups of tea, sit down for a chat. Others might offer to come up and play some music. There is also variety with guest speakers every month. Not just talks about dementia but everything from flower arranging and pottery demonstrations, to chair aerobics, and talks from the community gardai.

Everything has been thought out with the person living with dementia in mind. The brightly coloured table cloths, the green plates, the red cups. It about teaching the principles of best dementia practice and dementia care in an informal way.

Most of all it is a safe space. A space to meet other people who understand and can maybe offer some insight or support.

Anne explained that their dementia cafe came about when a group of people including healthcare professionals from mental health and primary care came together along with the Alzheimers Society of Ireland and the community volunteers, all with the same idea of doing something for people who have a dementia diagnosis within the community. They held an opening evening with the community and started the conversation about how a dementia cafe would work and what it would look like and it took off from there.

“It is a space for people who have a memory impairment or a dementia diagnosis, for them and for their family, friends, carers or neighbours to come and it is a safe space where they are accepted where there is no stigma attached,” she said.

She explained that what is unique about their cafe is that they wanted to set up was a space where healthcare professionals were present, a dementia advisor was present and experts by lived experience were present who can sit down and give advice and talk.

Danielle Timmons, Meath Dementia Advisor with the Alzheimer Society of Ireland, added that challenging the stigma in the community is very important and also establishing relationships with other people living with dementia and getting advice and support by attending.

She said: “It's an open space, some person might be experiencing symptoms of dementia and they don't know where to go and they are more than welcome to come in and have a chat. We invite a speaker in every month but we try not to focus it too much on dementia. Maybe pottery, or chair aerobics, maybe they could do it at home.”

For people with dementia and their carers, it is not everywhere they feel comfortable going and Anne explained that for some people with more advanced dementia, the cafe might be the only place they go.

“A lot of people who come in would say they don't get to go anywhere together. At different stages in dementia, there are different needs but we do have people with someone at a more advanced stage and this might be the only place they come because they need two or three people to keep an eye. It is a very safe space.”

Volunteer Ann Duffy who is also treasurer on the committee organises the volunteers for the cafe each month, which is all done through a Whatsapp group. She is also very involved in fundraising.

“I come every month and I organise the volunteers. It's really rewarding especially when you get positive feedback, which we have got.”

Ann is a retired teacher and has organised with Eureka school to have four students every month come up to help out. “They are really enjoying it, I am hoping from September to balance it and get some boys up as well.” As well as welcoming people to the cafe, they help get the food ready and serve it but also sit down and chat with those attending.

Cathy Tobin, HSE Nurse Tutor, delivering dementia education on behalf of Louth, Meath, Cavan and Monaghan, highlighted how generous the community had been both with their time and financial support. The cafe relies entirely on fundraising and many local groups have been very generous in their fundraising.

Cathy said it is a very open cafe where the families and the people living with dementia are welcome and lots of information is delivered by lots of different people.

Among those attending when the Meath Chronicle visited in May was Gerarda Bradley from Nobber with her mother Kathleen Sheridan. “It's a great social outing. It is as much for mammy as it is for the carers. The topics they cover are very interesting they had flower arranging recently, they had a library tour, the last day they had a bus with all the information for the various supports.”

“It's fabulous and the volunteers are fantastic. The commitment that they give and the help that they are is fantastic.”

Caroline Ward from Garlow Cross is one of the experts through lived experience and said the cafe is hugely helpful in steering people in the right direction on where to go and what to do.

“You need places like this, you'd nearly think they would be a sad place but they are so uplifting. Everyone here, they understand, you can laugh and joke about what you are going through. For somebody who didn't have someone with dementia they would think it was awful but you can say it to somebody in the situation and they totally understand.”

Clodagh Rogan, senior social worker in a memory clinic said it is a good starting point for people who are newly diagnosed but maybe don't feel they are at the stage where they want supports yet. “It is a good starting point if we can get them into the cafe and it can be a good opening for maybe realising, do you know maybe we could do with some supports. Because we have public health nurses, dementia advisors, an advanced nurse practitioner and a carers with lived experience, they have the opportunity to come and talk to us and we can help them with setting up supports.”

Joyce Bennett, whose husband has dementia, is another volunteer who was involved in setting up the cafe and came up with name 'Book of Memories'.

She said there can still be a stigma around dementia and Alzheimers and some people feel more comfortable come to the cafe and meeting people in the same boat and you can relate to them and maybe give advice.

“When you are in that situation with someone, you can feel very alone and I suppose it has given me confidence again to come out and you're relating to people that understand.” As her husband is at a more advanced stage than others at the cafe, she can offer some insight and advice and give something back as well.

Ellie Boylan, a fifth year Eureka student is one of the student volunteers who meets people at the door, brings them in and helps serve food and also would have a chat. “It’s brilliant, it is good to see everyone coming in, its packed out there today. It is lovely to see them all socialising, and raising awareness.”

Local councillor Sarah Reilly who also attended the first anniversary celebration congratulated all involved and said she knew as soon as she stepped into the cafe the first day it would be a success.

“The presence of healthcare professionals and experienced carers here every month means people don't have to navigate things alone, there is real comfort in that.

“She paid tribute to the volunteers saying they had built something special, “not just an event but a lifeline.”

While those attending may not remember being the cafe, Anne Caprani explained the feeling of contentment and happiness is very much retained after they leave, the sense of purpose.

“The memory may not be there but the feeling is retained. I always say we wouldn't not bring younger member of society to something because they might not remember it, and this is the same.”

The cafe takes place on Thursdays from 12 to 2pm and is free to attend. There is no need to book in, just turn up. The remaining dates this year are 5th June, 3rd July, 7th August, 4th September, 2nd October, 6th November and 4th December.