Brave teen's story the inspiration behind efforts to keep youngsters safe online

An event in Ashbourne to raise funds for an Irish charity that aims to keep kids web safe was inspired by the brave story of a local young woman who spoke out about her harrowing story of online grooming.

Orla Stewart was just eleven when she was targeted by an online groomer who blackmailed her into sending explicit images everyday for three years.

Unable to cope with living in fear anymore Orla tried to take her own life, it was after this that she opened up to her parents and told them of the hell she had been living with.

Orla has since undergone counselling and therapy and now wants to try and warn both parents and young people about the dangers of the online world and has teamed up with CyberSafeKids, an Irish national charity that aims to keep kids safe online.

Ashbourne Golf Club have selected CyberSafeKids as their charity partner for this year’s Open Week event running from 2nd - 8th June 2024. Launched at the club on Safer Internet Day, the fundraiser includes a jam-packed open week with workshops, competitions, and evening entertainment at Ashbourne Golf Club.

CyberSafeKids delivers an education and research programme for primary and post-primary schools, providing expert guidance to pupils aged 8-16, teachers and parents. To date they have spoken to over 60,000 pupils and 15,000 parents and educators.

CyberSafeKids CEO Alex Cooney explains why Orla’s story is so important to learn from.

“Orla was groomed online and it was absolutely horrific,” said Alex.

“She was up in her bedroom with a laptop and she was living in France at the time and was being bullied so she was lonely and the online connections she formed were really important to her,” she added.

“She made this connection with this person and within a relatively short amount of time he persuaded her to share intimate images. For three years she says there was not a day that went by, not a birthday, not a Christmas day where he did not demand more and more.”

The truth only emerged when Orla could no longer cope with the torture of her abuser and tried to take her own life.

“This poor girl was groomed and traumatised for three years of her life and it only eventually came out when her family knew an Irish garda and he was visiting and they were saying we are having all these problems with Orla, we don’t understand. And the garda said ‘no, I think something else is going on’ so he showed them a video of a Canadian girl called Amanda Todd who was groomed online and ended up taking her own life. However they didn’t link this with their daughter.

“That night Orla tried to take her own life, the next day her mother discovered her and rushed her to hospital and in the car her mother said 'Orla you have to tell me what’s going on' and Orla said 'I’m just going to say two words, Amanda Todd' and her mother understood what was happening and her shock and fury she threw the phone out the window of the car.

“They never got the guy so he remains active on Facebook.

“Orla has so bravely shared her story to try to ensure that no other young person has to go through what she did.”

This is so important right now as statistics around online grooming and extortion are shocking as Alex explains:

“We and all of the global agencies that have monitored this have reported frightening increases during and since the pandemic along with an increase of child sexual abuse material circulating online. It is all too easy to access a child online.”

Alex was one half of the duo inspired to set up CyberSafeKids after learning about the extent of the dangers of the online world from friend and now co-founder of the organisation, cyber crime investigator Cliona Curley.

“I knew Cliona as a mum from my child's preschool and we got talking one day and her role was a Cyber Crime investigator for serious organised crime and in her spare time she was going into schools and volunteering for a foundation to educate young people, teachers and parents,” said Alex.

“She explained to me what children were being exposed to online and how out of the loop their parents were,” she added.

“We felt there was a real gap in terms of children’s online access use and what their carers and parents and teachers knew,” said Alex.

“The conversation led to an idea to do something to try and make a difference. We felt we needed to equip and educate children better so they could have safe online experiences because at the end of the day the online world was designed by adults for adults not for children yet children make up a third of global users.”

Initially focusing on primary school children, the team working with the charity has now created a programme for secondary school students.

“We have tended to focus primarily on the younger age cohort and children in primary schools when they are first starting to get their own device, when they are starting to explore the internet more independently because we felt that it would be better to be there with them at the start of the journey to try and install good habits, and to talk to their parents and teachers at that stage,” said the charity CEO.

“Our education team created a secondary school level content so we now deliver to 1st year up to 4th year,” she added. “ We publish and trends and usage report each year which paints this incredible picture of what children are actually doing online and level of access they have, where some of the vulnerabilities are.

“It provides with opportunity to highlight things like underage usage of social media, the extent of which gaming is popular but also things like over age 18 plus games because even in primary school we see a third of boys playing over 18 games.”

CyberSafeKids message is to try and hold off on getting children smart devices for as long as possible but when they do get on, communication is key.

“What we are seeing is very young children getting tablets, consoles , even the smart phone and we would urge parents to hold off for as long as possible,” said Alex.

“When you do decide it is the right time, keeping it an open conversation around use and access is really important,” she added. “Take an interest in what they are looking at.”

“From our research we found that children have encountered content that really scared them but they didn’t go to their parents because they weren’t supposed to be on the device at the time.

“When a child is in the bedroom with the door shut, you as a parent or carer are really, really excluded from what’s going on, what they are looking at, who they are talking to and how long they are spending.

“That is a rule you can set, there is no devices in bedrooms and follow that same practice yourself.”

Giving your child access to the online world without restriction is giving the world access to your child according to CyberSafeKids CEO.

“So by and large unless you are on a specific child app like Youtube kids for example which is designed with children in mind for children and has inherent safe guards built in, they are essentially using adult services,” warns Alex.

“The risks include things like risks to seeing inappropriate content. We know the average age that a child sees pornography is 12. “It is pretty much easy access to anything you didn’t want your child to see.

“You can use parental controls and filters to block out some of the worst content but be aware that it could be in other people’s houses that have less stringent controls in place.”

Another huge problem is cyber bullying which is often relentless as Alex explains:

“It does tend to differ from off line bullying because it can escalate very quickly online. Children are often using these apps in a very public way so if someone makes a comment, others can pitch in very quickly.

“You lose a lot in online communication. Yes that is children’s preferred way of communicating but you lose a lot of things like empathy, eye contact, you lose meaning. So maybe that first comment was a joke but you can’t see that it was a joke, it’s a lot harder to suggest it wasn’t intended to hurt when it’s there in black and white.”