Sister who became guardian to siblings thanks local GAA club and community for its support

LOUISE WALSH

A YOUNG woman who became guardian to her younger sisters so the family could stay together when their mam died has thanked a football club for their ‘incredible support’.

Sue Deegan tragically died after a long battle with cancer in March 2021 at the age of 53, leaving her four daughters behind at their home outside Navan.

Sue initially beat the rare form of bone marrow cancer Myelofibrosis into remission after a transplant in 2015 but unfortunately the cancer returned as well as Leukaemia and she sadly ran out of treatment options.

Before she died, Sue asked Lauren (now 24) if she would act as guardian towards her two younger sisters Emma (now 19), and Grace (now 16), when she passed. The siblings also have another sister Sarah who is 22.

Lauren didn't hesitate to say yes but never dreamed that day she would have to step into her mam's shoes would come so soon.

"Of course, I said Yes. It meant we could all stay together at home. But I agreed, never thinking for one moment that it would happen so soon, if at all," she said.

"Looking back though, I realise now that she asked me because she knew she only had a few months left and she wanted to get her will and affairs sorted.

"In hindsight, it was the little things that she did that should've sent alarm bells ringing that she didn't have long left. I was turning 22 years old and she insisted on buying me expensive runners, even though I had opted for cheaper ones because I knew we couldn't really afford them.

"She started crying and begged me to let her buy them for me. I know now she just wanted her last birthday gift to be special to me. Mam was like that. We never wanted anything big, but if we asked her for a round trip to every country on earth, she would find a way to give it to us.

"Throughout Covid-19, we had all isolated with her at home and so didn't see anyone. And when she died, it was under Covid-19 regulations so we were only allowed ten people

"That was so tough. But Walterstown GFC where my sisters play football, formed a massive guard of honour from our house all the way to the steps of the local church and that meant so much to us.

"When she was sick, friends from the club were always calling up or texting during Covid lockdowns, offering to pick up mam's prescription or give us lifts to places or dinners.

We never wanted for anything as the club was always there for us.

"Even our first Christmas without mam, I got Covid and had to isolate and so club members arrived to make sure the other three had Christmas.

"It was horrendous after mam died. We are four girls so, of course, we fight like cat and dog but grief turning to anger made it worse for a time.

"I got the expected, ‘you are not my mam’, when I tried to do things but I had to make them realise that we are still a family, just a different dynamic

"When I was doing my Leaving Certificate, mam made sure to go through my notes with me and made me breakfast every morning.

"Emma had to sit the Leaving Certificate without mam which was so tough on her and I tried to do all the things our mam did with me, but it's not the same.

"Everyone wants their mam's kisses and cuddles and although, here I was trying to be a stand-in mam, I knew I could never take her place and I missed her just as much.

"There's no minding on the younger ones but it's a case of me having to organise uniforms or school fees or lifts. They are a credit to mam but it's just the nitty gritty that needs sorting. For example, I'm not gonna ask Emma to pay for the Sky bill

"I'm in my last year of college placement at the minute and we are just taking one day at a time, in planning for Christmas.

"I've put my life on hold for a while and that's ok. Two of my friends went to Canada and One to New York and one to Barcelona and part of me said, I'd love to go but I've a child to put through Leaving Cert next year and I can't just up and leave. I'd never do that.

"Emma goes out on nights out and I'm worrying like mad because at my age, I know exactly what can go wrong. So, I'm telling her to text me when she gets to the nightclub, text when she gets a taxi. I'm keeping tabs on her all the time.

"We ration out our nights out between us and we are learning to budget everything. We have our grandparents who are just unbelievable and help us so much.

"We have to be careful with money but there is no way I'm going to say that I'm only going to buy for my sisters this Christmas. I love giving people even small gifts to say they mean so much to us.

"The club, community and mam's friends have been amazing to us and are always there to make sure everything is ok. They'd never leave us stuck and we are so grateful for that support and love.

Mam was there for us no matter what. It was never a case of I'm sick. It was so what if I am, I'm going to the panto or to the match or whatever else was on.

"I always wanted to do something to give back - mam would've wanted that. But life took over for a while. and it's only now that we feel up to organising a fundraiser in her honour.

My friend Bríana and I came up with the idea of a coffee morning for Leukaemia Trust. None of us were compatible so strangers gave her bone marrow, which I'm told is incredibly painful

"We just want to say thanks to them for giving us a bit more time with mam."

Meanwhile family friend and GAA member Patricia Farrelly said: "When Sue passed, Lauren took responsibility for her younger sisters who were still at school.

"They have been looking after themselves, so they can all stay together in their family home. At the same time, Lauren is trying to finish college to become a teacher so it's been tough on her.

"The kids have had to make a lot of sacrifices in their young lives. They were badly affected during Covid and had to isolate completely to protect their mam. They've been through so much while their mam was sick and now have to cope without her."

The coffee morning will take place in Walterstown GAA Club on Saturday 10th December and donations can be made to searching Coffee Morning in memory of Susan Deegan' on iDonate.ie