'Covid 19 robbed us of the chance to say goodbye to Steven'

The devastated wife of Trim man who passed away from cancer that had only diagnosed weeks earlier says she wants to highlight the the human side of the devastating effects of Covid-19.

Steven van der Westhuizen was just 59 when he lost his life in November leaving behind his heartbroken wife Sandra (54) and sons Gareth (23) and Sean (16).

It was only in September that the father of two had attended his GP feeling unwell and was referred to James Connolly Hospital in Blanchardstown for tests.

Steven was sent home with a suspected urinary tract infection and despite attending A&E departments a number of times in the following weeks, he was not admitting to hospital and his condition was not diagnosed at the time.

Grieving Sandra (54) a teacher in St. Michael’s N.S in Trim said said as her husband’s health deteriorated she was “watching her husband die in front of her eyes,” and resorted to begging for him to seen by medics.

Emergency surgery was carried out in order to save the South African native’s life but it was unsuccessful and he passed away with his family by his side on November 3rd.

Sandra now wants to share her story in the hopes that another family don’t have to endure the “devastation, heartbreak and turmoil” that she has had to go through in recent months.

She said:

“Everybody thinks covid 19 is everything at the moment but we forget there are so many other things that are going on in other people’s lives that isn’t covid 19 related but is being affected by it.

“Due to restrictions we were unable to be with Steven for most of his time at Beaumont Hospital and it robbed us of the chance to grieve with people who wanted to comfort us.

“While I understand, that hospitals are busy environments and surgeons and their teams have many patients to attend to, I want to ensure that no other patient’s family is left without any communication from their loved ones attending team until it is too late.”

The Trim mum describes Steven who was trainer for Swissport’s journey before he lost his fight. She said:

“In September Steven went to our family GP as he was unwell and he was referred to James Connolly Hospital in Blanchardstown, with a letter stating that he thought that he had a mass in his abdomen.

“He was eventually seen to and I was informed that tests were going to be run so he was going to be booked into hospital.

“At 2:20am, I got a call to say that they were not admitting him after all and that I was to collect him.

“Steven had a catheter inserted and a course of antibiotics for a UTI. Over the course of the next month, I had to take him to Navan Hospital A&E twice. Both times, he was not admitted and no tests were carried out other than to take out one catheter to reinsert another.

“Steven got progressively worse and was not even able to eat. He received an appointment to see Mr. Ijaz Cheema, Consultant Urologist in Beaumont Hospital.

“I phoned his offices twice begging for an earlier appointment as I was literally watching my husband die in front of my eyes, but due to the backlog caused by Covid-19 there was no earlier appointments to be had.”

Due to restrictions Sandra was unable to be with her husband for most of his time at Beaumont Hospital as she explains:

“We found out once Steven was sent to ICU that allowances are made for a family member to come in where their loved ones are extremely ill.

“I would love to have been given this opportunity as it would have given me the time to tell Steven all I would love to have said to him before he passed.

“He had to hear alone that he had Muscle Invasive Bladder Cancer, Pulmonary Embolism in left lung, contracted CPE while in Beaumont Hospital and his left kidney was not functioning.

“Unfortunately, due to the delay in this communication, my boys and I never got an opportunity to say goodbye to my husband while still conscious.”

Sandra is keen to stress that she is grateful for the “outstanding” care Steven received in Beaumont but wants to shine a light on the importance of keeping the lines of communication between patient and team open.

“The care Steven received by Mr. Ijaz Cheema and his team was outstanding. The nurses in Beaumont Hospital are truly are the unsung heroes of Steven’s journey.

The couple who had been in Ireland for over 20 years are both from South Africa and had been married for 25 years, Sandra says she will miss her “best friend.”

“Steven was a gentleman, he never said a bad word about a soul. He was a great husband and a fabulous father.

“When we met, he reminded me so much of my dad and had those kind, gentle, caring qualities.

“He never worried about fancy clothing or anything like that because he felt that people should judge you for what’s on the inside.”