‘My biggest fear was that I would not wake up after the surgery’

ANN CASEY
An Athboy mother of four young boys and former Miss Ireland who underwent open heart surgery last year is sharing the story of her illness and recovery as February is Heart month.
Although Lisa O'Sullivan Shaw (39) was born with congenital heart problems, she had a perfectly normal childhood having had surgery as a baby and grew into a healthy and very fit adult who enjoyed working out in the gym. She married and had four children before she started to feel tired all the time in 2018 and was subsequently told she needed open heart surgery.
“I was in mental turmoil before the operation. The last thing I said before I had the anaesthetic was to make sure I woke up as I had small babies at home.”
Lisa is now back to her old self but it was a tough gruelling road and she says the mental repercussions took a terrible toll as she experienced great fear and anxiety for some time after the surgery.
Lisa was born with pulmonary stenosis and at six weeks, she had open heart surgery, a valvotomy, in which a tube was put in to open up a blocked valve.  

About a year-and a-half ago, Lisa started to feel tired all the time and at her annual cardiac check up it was discovered that her heart was enlarged and severely under pressure.

Her health wasn't a major issue as she was growing up. “I was never treated as ‘don't do this or don't do that’ by my parents. It was very much ‘get on with it’”.
Lisa enjoyed a modelling career, won Miss Ireland and travelled to the Miss Universe pageant in Puerto Rico. She studied business in Cork and she met her husband, Jamie Shaw from Athboy when she travelled to New York.
The couple have four sons.
“Because of my medical history, my pregnancies were considered high risk but I got great care in the Rotunda and Mater Hospitals. Every time I had a baby, they would say the biggest test your heart could have is pregnancy, and it does so well.”
About a year-and a-half ago, Lisa started to feel tired all the time and at her annual cardiac check up it was discovered that her heart was enlarged and severely under pressure.

“I was told that I would have to have a new valve put in and I needed open heart surgery.
“It was really frightening to say the least. It was the most overwhelming fear that I have ever felt.  
“My biggest fear was that I would not wake up after the surgery. I trained Jamie to whisper repeatedly to me when I'd wake that I was alive and everything was ok.”
I had to get my affairs in order and write my will,” she recalls. “I was in mental turmoil.”
Her boys were between three and seven when she had the surgery during Easter week last year.
“When I woke up, I was initially relieved. I heard Jamie telling me I was alive. There was euphoria that it was over, but when I woke up the second day I was in dreadful pain.”

“I was told that I would have to have a new valve put in and I needed open heart surgery.
 

After a week, she could shuffle up and down the corridor.  
She started to feel incredibly anxious. “I had this sense of a physical clock over my head. And the clock was going tick, tick, tick; there's more life behind me than there is ahead of me.”
She found herself beset by irrational worries, worrying about her life span, and fixating on wanting to go back to her old life. Lisa points out that more support for patients at this point to assist with the mental side of recovery, not just the physical recovery, would be helpful.
Lisa was discharged from hospital after a week-and-a-half and her husband became her carer for four months.
“He was out of work for all that time. He allowed me to have that focus to recover, did everything in the house. My job was to walk my driveway and take my tablets.”

Happy family...(l-r) Jamie Shaw, Lisa O’Sullivan with the boys Rhys (4), Rian (5), Callan (8), and Dillon (6). PHOTO: SEAMUS FARRELLY 

Time has helped Lisa recover both physically and mentally. 
“I feel great now and thankful.  I still have some mild cardiac issues but it was the psychological recovery that was most difficult. Five days after the operation I thought my life was over.”
Her confidence in her physical self is coming back and she has returned to training in the gym.
“The valve I have now is good for another 10 to 15 years. I have been told the next time it has to be replaced it can be done through the groin.”
For those facing major heart surgery Lisa has this advice.
“The physical pain will go and the mental anguish will go. You will feel well again,” she said.