Part 1 - Alan Nestor opens up to Fergal Lynch on his battle to overcome cancer

As men, we are brutal at admitting that we are going through a tough time and might need help; it seems weak, but actually being vulnerable is a sign of strength, not a sign of weakness“Adversity is like a strong wind. it tears away from us all but the things that cannot be torn, so that we see ourselves as we really are” - Arthur Golden

Former Meath intercounty star Alan Nestor opens up to Fergal Lynch on his battle to overcome cancer and the important message he has for young men to get themselves checked if they have medical concerns.

As summer turned to autumn last year, the Meath SFC was in full flow and those with aspirations of Keegan Cup glory were gearing up for the biggest battle of the year. In Batterstown, Alan Nestor was just about to embark on a journey that changed his life. Just a few weeks out from their make-orbreak clash with Duleek/Bellewstown, Blackhall Gaels were readying their big guns for a contest that could define their season. One of those big guns was former Meath star Alan Nestor, but a feeling of overwhelming concern finally pushed him to make a decision that ultimately saved his life.

The decision Nestor made was a relatively simple one, but one that is often ignored by men across the globe. He finally bit the bullet and went to his local GP to get a worrying lump on his testicles checked out. Within 17 days, the former Meath player was lying on an operating table having one of his testicles removed after four tumours were found - it was an outcome that didn’t frighten the 26-year-old. Instead at times it drove him to laughter, believing that humour was his best medicine.

Even after receiving the news that he had testicular cancer, Nestor recalls walking to his car in the hospital car park and laughing out loud at the absurdity of his situation - a 26- year-old footloose, fancy free, intelligent and extremely fit young man who had just been told he had cancer. Eight months later, which he described as “absolute torture”, Nestor got the all-clear and while he celebrated the outcome with a post-Christmas party for all his family and friends, he recalled how he could have avoided that torture if he had simply gone to his doctor at the first sign of trouble.

“My basic advice is to get yourself checked out if you have any doubts. Young men hide a lot of stuff, but whether you talk to a friend or talk to a professional, you need to get your problems out there,” said Nestor, who also revealed that during his treatment he suffered bouts of depression. “If it’s a symptom like a lump, which I had, or if it’s chronic headaches or depression or if you are just not feeling right, please talk to someone. Someone will be able to help you, don’t be worrying about being vulnerable, that is actually a strength,” he said. “If I had gone to the doctor when I first found the lump, it would have saved me from the worst eight months of my life.

I spoke to Dermot Earley (the former Kildare footballer) who had testicular cancer in 2000; he had surgery to remove the problem and within five weeks he was back playing for Kildare “That is the timeline I should have had, but instead I left it too long and spent eight months having surgery and going through chemo and not being able to work,” said Nestor.

The youngest of the Nestor clan and brother of former All-Ireland SFC winner Nigel, Alan first discovered a lump “about the size of the tip of a ballpoint pen” on one of his testicles in August 2013 while he was being treated for a bacterial infection picked up on a holiday to Thailand. While in the hospital, he took the opportunity to ask a nurse to have a look at the lump. He was advised to check with his GP if he was worried, but his mind was eased with a suggestion that it was “probably nothing”. Nestor took that assurance from the nurse as being a “diagnosis” and continued to live his life in the belief the problem would go away - but it didn’t.

While flying to Croatia for a holiday in July 2014, Nestor started to feel significant pain. When he returned from that trip, he went to see his doctor, and what followed was a whirlwind that still spins his head. The first visit to the doctor on 28th July was followed by a scan on 5th August. The following day, his GP called to say there was something wrong from the scan and he needed to go to Blanchardstown Hospital. Within a week, Nestor had one of his testicles removed and further scans revealed the cancer had spread to his lymph nodes. It was just hammer blow after hammer blow for the young man, but he was determined not to let it get the better of him.

A four-week cycle of chemotherapy was arranged and on 3rd September, he started his treatment and what followed were 12 weeks of excruciating torture, but as an “ignorant GAA head”, he fought the battle head-on. Each cycle was the same. The first week was Monday to Friday, from 9am to 5pm, of intensive chemotherapy which involved the flushing of eight litres of various saline and chemo treatments through his system. Those days were hellish because of the sickness which accompanied it, and with each passing cycle, the treatment got tougher on his weakening system. Weeks two and three of the cycle were recovery days - five days of treatment followed by 16 days of recovery. That continued for four cycles. All the while, Nestor fought the battle with a brave face, while on his down days he was often so weak that it was an absolute chore to complete even the most menial tasks like going to the toilet, reading a book, turning out a light.

During the second cycle of treatment, he tried to go back to football, determined not to let cancer interfere with his regular routine. It transpired to be a foolish decision as all the training left him even weaker and with chemo hitting his immune system, he became increasingly sick. Despite being so unwell, Nestor still felt it was important to spread the word of his illness. He kept pushing the call for men to get themselves checked and that became a passion for him. “The first thing I wanted to do when I was diagnosed was tell everybody everything up front, all the details, so that there would be no hearsay or rumours. I wanted to tell everyone about my situation,” said Nestor. “I am the clown who didn’t go to the doctor for 12 months, I didn’t do it the right way, so if someone out there knows about my story and understands a bit more about cancer, the way chemo is given, the reaction to certain treatments and the torture of it all, then that would be great.

“The big C word used to be associated with death, but I wanted to tell people how it was affecting me. I wanted to show people that I was fighting it. It tried to invade me, but I fought back with everything I had and that is why I wanted to let people know about how I was getting on. “Keeping things to yourself is a very Irish thing, and a very man thing to do. However, I wanted to put myself out there and say ‘look, I might look a bit vulnerable and they might be a small bit offended, but it is for the greater good’. My approach was what can I do to help someone else? “So my way is to inform people what it was like going through the treatment, how you can avoid it by going to the doctor, knowing about symptoms and getting yourself checked. “It is the same thing with depression.

I went through a lot of turmoil during the last eight months and sought out help. As men, we are brutal at admitting that we are going through a tough time and might need help; it seems weak, but actually being vulnerable is a sign of strength, not a sign of weakness,” he said. “The more young men talk about stuff, the easier things can become further down the road.'