Idiotic whinging will be forgotten in 'Brat Camps'

Whinging: a complete and utter waste of time and .... oh so boring. When a child engages in this tiresome, irritating behaviour to the point that you are about to put him on e-Bay, you can always try a good night's sleep. Pop the little pet in bed early and in the morning you won't recognise the child – a little ray of sunshine will have replaced the dark cloud of the previous day. No more complaining about his sister breathing beside him as he is trying to watch TV; no more shouting that his dinner looks worse than cat food; no more bursting into tears just because someone looks at him. Indeed, a little angel now plays where once an antichrist terrorised. So that's the solution to whinging children; but what do you do with whinging adults? Dear God, what do you do with them? Without doubt, there are many people who have a genuine right to complain about their economic situation these days, and then there are those who complain just because they are natural-born whingers. It's in their genes – they simply cannot resist moaning and bellyaching about everything, indeed, about anything. The other day a mother was lamenting the fact that she could not afford to pay for her daughter's 21st birthday party. The daughter would have to pay half the bill herself. Poor dear. Imagine the horrific emotional scars this girl will have to bear for the rest of her life. She will never be able to complete her education due to the trauma; all her relationships will end in tatters – something to do with trust issues, no doubt; and she could never contemplate holding down a job – commitment phobia. In short her life is as good as over. And the mother had every right to go on national radio and whinge about this – the French Revolution was started over a far less than this travesty, was it not? The French cut off heads with as much ease and pleasure as farmers top thistles because of their economic woes, so why shouldn't this mother, enraged with the injustice of it all, vehemently protest over the air waves? Because sarcasm is almost as unattractive as whingeing, I shall move on from that particular tone and simply say that this mother is an idiot. What's more, if she continues in this manner she will turn her daughter into an idiot too. Of course, this mother is not alone in idiotville – there are plenty of us to keep her company. The true insanity of the situation is that today's parents should know better. And we do know better – we have just chosen to act stupidly. The parents of all twenty year olds in Ireland today have, after all, lived through a recession already. We know the difference between wants and needs. Amongst the myriad of reality TV shows one can anaesthetize one's mind by watching is a show entitled 'Brat Camp'. The idea is that out-of-control teenagers are sent here by lazy, ineffective parents who can't be bothered to actually be parents. So the dirty work is left to others – usually highly qualified professionals who put a huge effort into making these creatures human again. But the nagging question is, why is there no such camp for parents; after all the children are just a product of their environment. Or as one of my kids calmly said when I was giving out about her behaviour one day, 'Mom, I am just a reflection'. Ouch. What we are left with here is a nation of youth who have been brought up with a most distorted view of how the world works. Many of these plan to emigrate over the next year. Yes, some are leaving because they cannot get work here; others have inherited the Irish itchy feet gene and deem now to be a good time to go adventuring. Clever kids. In all likelihood, their chosen destinations will turn out to be brat camps of sorts. Our young men and women will learn abroad what they could never learn in Ireland – they will learn that there is no such thing as easy money. They will learn that boom-time Ireland was nothing but a lie. A big fat lie. They will learn that nobody else in any other country actually lives the way we lived during the boom/lie. They will work their little bottoms off, get paid (not over-paid), and learn to live within their means. And the funny thing is that they will not spend one minute moaning; away from the negativity of 'whingville', these kids will only see opportunities and blessings. They will admire how other nationalities throw fabulous parties on a budget – how they don't need to pay someone else to play music, serve food and drink and clean up vomit after 21st birthday parties. Hopefully, in time these kids will all return to Ireland and if they bring not one penny with them, it will matter not one iota. What will matter is that there will not be one whinger amongst them.