Duleek mum's gratitude for new lease of life thanks to donor and family

For four and a half years, Duleek mother-of-three Lisa Dalton travelled to Beaumont Hospital for dialysis three times a week after a kidney failure diagnosis which came as a bolt out of the blue.

Keen to keep things as normal as possible for her three children, Lisa opted to have her dialysis at night so she would be home to do the schools runs. Then at 1.30am one morning in August 2015, came the call Lisa was waiting more than four years for when a suitable kidney became available.

Lisa, now 43, was given a new lease of life thanks to the selflessness of her donor and their family and she struggles to find a word to describe the incredible depth of gratitude she feels to them. A year and a half post transplant, Lisa is well and enjoying freedom from dialysis. Yet, with the transplant came a complicated range of emotions, and Lisa says not a day goes by that she doesn’t think of her donor and their family.
She uses every opportunity she can to raise awareness of the importance of organ donation and is also involved with fundraising for the Irish Kidney Foundation. In advance of Organ Donation Awareness Week, which takes place from 1st to 8th April, Lisa shared her story.
In 2010, Lisa was leading a normal life, looking after her children and working as a playschool teacher when a visit to the doctor for something minor soon set the alarm bells ringing.
“I went to the doctor for something simple and regular blood tests were run which flagged that my renal function wasn’t normal. I thought surely it was a mistake and they re-ran the bloods but the result was the same.”
Without any real symptoms other than some back pain that Lisa had put down to everyday life, news that she was suffering from Chronic Kidney Disease came as a huge shock and tests revealed her kidneys were only functioning at 20 per cent.
Lisa was referred to Professor Peter Conlon’s clinic in Beaumont Hospital, first attending in January 2011.
“I was at end stage renal failure, I had gone beyond any possibility of retrieving them. I was at less than 20 per cent function when I was diagnosed. It can be considered a silent killer.”
Her condition quickly deteriorated and by April Lisa was told she had to go on dialysis
“It was a horrible shock. Some people have years before they have to go on dialysis. I was already on a very restricted diet as things aren’t being filtered and your food basically poisons you. I was still trying to come to terms with this different diet and medication. Then I had to have surgery to put a line in for dialysis.”

 

Lisa Dalton at home with children Conor, Stephen and Ornagh.

Lisa began having four hour dialysis sessions three times a week.
“Once I started it, it became part of my life. I chose to take advantage of the night shift so I would go in for 3am so that I could go, do the dialysis and be back in time to bring the kids to school. I tried to embrace it and accept it and thought trying to sleep through it would be better. The time goes so slow, I thought it would be easier to try to sleep. I mastered it after a while.
“It wasn’t always plain sailing, I would regularly wake up and find people all around me after my blood pressure had plummeted. I always had low blood pressure and dialysis lowers it further so it can be quite dangerous.”
Lisa explained that she would feel very unwell after the dialysis treatment, feeling dehydrated, tried and experienced awful headaches but had to try to put a brave face on for her kids’ sake.
“ I would drive home and get the kids out to school and would return home and just collapse.
“I refused to let my kids see that so I came in smiling even though I felt like dying. I didn’t want it to encroach on their lives. I have no idea how I got through it. I will always remember the way I felt. I would drop to my knees crying like a baby until it would be time to go and collect them again.”
Lisa was in the transplant pool and her husband Paul put himself forward as a live donor. Tests were carried out and Paul was found to be a match, however, after months of work up at the final stage of the process a problem was identified and they could not proceed.
“He went through the process which takes quite some time, there were lots of hospital appointments and test and months of work up and then just before Christmas, I was told there was a problem discovered. It was very sad and traumatic, I was upset but it had an absolutely traumatic effect on Paul. He wanted to help and was told he was a match. I felt it wasn’t meant to be but it hit him very hard.”
Lisa continued on dialysis and said the last year before her transplant was very difficult.
“There were other things going on in my life and to cope mentally and physically you need to be in a good place. A friend passed away while I was with her and it had a very bad effect and I realised I wasn’t dealing with things as well as I had been so the last year was very difficult.”
As time went on, Lisa said you would see people coming in who started dialysis after you getting transplanted before you and it didn’t seem fair.
Lisa explained that it is not just a matter of taking your place on the list and your turn will come, and the recipient of an organ depends on who it better matches.
“For the first year I nearly had a heart attack every time the house phone would ring but you have to get over that, though it is always there at the back of your mind.
Eventually at 1.30am one day in August of 2015, Lisa got the call she was waiting for. It was the middle of the night and she didn’t know if she was dreaming as she answered the phone.
“It is a surreal feeling. You do as time goes on wonder if you’re hard to match and will be left here. There are people out there on dialysis for years and years.
“Like in pregnancy I had my bag packed and was ready to go. I grabbed my bag and went straight in. You have to start from scratch and get everything done again, like bloods and tissue types, everything has to be up to the minute.
The next day Lisa had her surgery and while she was waiting for the operation, she got chatting to another woman, Michelle Fleming. It turned out Michelle was the recipient of the other kidney and they have become very close friends.
“We had the same donor, we just clicked and we have a very close relationship, The bond between us will never be broken. We are in different counties but we always make the effort to see each other and to support one another.”
The operation was a success and the kidney took but Lisa explained she didn’t have a “straight run.”
“I was home after nine days and feeling on top of the world but unfortunately it didn’t stay that way. I became sick quite quickly and spent seven weeks in hospital with a very serious infection and was very unwell.
“It was a rough start but came good. Not having to go to dialysis was such a major relief. People commented that my eyes were white and bright and that I had a glow and looked healthy again. I had energy. It was a new lease of life.”
“What people don’t realise is that transplant is a treatment. They think that’s it you’re cured. There is no cure for kidney disease. I was extremely lucky and have the chance to be dialysis free, please 
God, for a long time.”

 

As well as the physical side of things with the operation and the recovery, the psychological effect and the emotions that come with receiving a kidney from someone who has lost their life is something Lisa says changed her as a person.
“There is a very emotional side, the donor and their family. I thought about it but you have no idea until it happens the effect it will have on you. That side of things changed me a person. I am delighted to be one of the lucky ones to have freedom from dialysis but the idea that somebody had to die in order to help you have life is hard to deal with. The family was so selfless. There are no words to describe how grateful I feel.”
Lisa had her operation in August and at Christmas she contacted her donor’s family writing them a letter and sending them a Christmas card with a gift.
“In some cases the family responds. I didn’t hear anything back which I totally respect and understand.
“Every day when I wake I think of that family and donor. They gave me the gift of life.”
Lisa encourages everyone to make their wishes known if they would like to be an organ donor and has paid tribute to the selfless people who are donors and their families who go along with their wishes at a difficult and heartbreaking time as they struggle to cope with the loss of their loved one.
She is also keen to highlight the area of live donation and said last year was a brilliant year for live donations with 50 live donations taking place.

For more information on being a donor or to obtain a card see www.ika.ie.